


One Night In Vegas (What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but only if you pay off the tabloids)

by omoikkiri (incoherents)



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-05
Updated: 2011-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-30 04:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incoherents/pseuds/omoikkiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hikaru thinks an Elvis wedding is the best idea ever. Inoo trolls the world. Takaki can't decide between Yabu and a hooker. Chinen is too young for casinos. Shenanigans in Las Vegas!</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Night In Vegas (What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but only if you pay off the tabloids)

Five shots of tequila in an hour and Hikaru is well on his way to being shitfaced. Though it's probably more accurate to say he already is.

"How many fingers?" he grins, flashing Yabu a peace sign. And when Yabu (very soberly) sighs and tells him he's got it the other way around, that he should be the one being asked to count fingers, Hikaru cackles and says "Wrong! Ne, Kota, there are three types of people in the world, you know? Those who can count and those who can't!"

~

Yuto and Chinen think it's silly to stay inside the hotel — why travel overseas if you're going to stay indoors the whole time? — so they position themselves at one end of the strip and walk down the entire thing, hitting up all the fancy themed hotels.

They enjoy themselves hugely, staring at everything with wide, appreciative eyes. They marvel at the ceiling domes that reflect the sky outside ("Just like in Harry Potter!") inside Caesar's Palace, the cute gondola ride through the length of The Venetian, the water fountain show outside The Bellagio, the replica Eiffel Tower ("Ehh, I feel just like I'm in France!" "You haven't been to France, silly.") in front of Paris Las Vegas. 

The only thing that puts a damper on their experience is when they get kicked out of a casino for being underage, even though they were only passing through it.

"You, OK," says the security guard slowly, pointing sternly at Yuto. Then, even more sternly, he swings his finger over to point at Chinen. "You, NO. Too young. Wait outside. No casino for you."

"Ugh," Chinen says, disgusted. "If I had wanted to get kicked out of the casinos, I would have just stayed in our own hotel!"

Yuto's spirits, however, aren't dampened. "It's a good thing I'm so nice Chii, or else I could have just gone on and explored by my own instead of going back together, ne!"

"It's a good thing I'm smart _and_ nice," Chinen scowls, "or I'd have let you make a wrong turn just now and get lost forever in the dessert."

~

Like Chinen and Yuto, Inoo also decides to get out of the hotel. His first stop is the tacky gift shop downstairs, where he buys postcards with pictures of the famous "Welcome to fantastic Las Vegas" sign to bring back to his family ("I was working!" he insists when his sister holds up a blank postcard and gives him the stinkeye about it, "Plus I didn't have anything to say to you!"), and a dinky little disposable camera.

He wanders around town with his camera and a big smirk, taking photos as obnoxiously as possible. He plants his feet far apart and sticks out his butt, doing his best to bring pride to his country with his photography. And as he strolls around, he barges right into the middle of families and couples, making them part ways and walk around him.

"Japanese idol!" he insists to random strangers, pointing at himself and giving his best photoshoot smile. "I'm Japanese idol! I want... um... look for ero-ero girls? You know?" He pantomimes big breasts with one hand.

("Honey," one little old lady comes up to him and pats him gently on the arm, "You're so pretty, with your lovely white skin, I'm sure you'll get very far in life. But don't go in for all this showgirl prostitution business, you hear me?"

"Yes!" Inoo beams at her, "Can you hear me now?")

~

“Hey, Mr. English Gentleman!” Daiki says, doing his best to casually sling an arm around the taller boy’s shoulders.

“Hmm?” murmurs Keito, sitting at the counter at Johnny Rockets and absorbed in the menu he’s browsing through.

“There is a girl!” Takaki announces dramatically, coming up on the other side of Keito. “She is hot!”

“Erm, yay?” Keito doesn’t have a glance to spare either of his band mates beside him; but he looks eagerly up at the hovering waiter and orders a Bacon Cheddar Double with grilled onions instead of white, and extra ketchup please. And a Ghirardelli dark chocolate shake.

“Keito!” Takaki insists, “A girl!”

“Um,” Keito tries again, “There’s… one over that-a-way too?”

“I think she’s a — _you know_ ,” Takaki gesticulates wildly, though Keito isn’t sure what to flailing his arms in circles is supposed to represent.

Luckily, Daiki translates: “A hooker.”

“What. Are you guys saying that you want me to go talk up a prostitute?”

Takaki bobs his head up and down rapidly, making his fluffy, un-styled hair bounce; Daiki grins sunnily, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

Keito suspects that they, too, have had too much to drink. He's not sure he really wants to take this conversation any further, but his food is brought to him before the pause becomes awkward, and he takes refuge in his burger and shake with relief.

Not to his relief, the girl Takaki and Daiki have been eyeing notices them looking, and winks. Immediately, they begin hounding him anew.

“Takaki-kun,” Keito interjects politely. “I think that’s Yabu-kun over there getting manhandled by Hikaru."

Takaki's head whips around to look in the direction Keito is pointing, then whips back to look at the girl, then around to Yabu again. Daiki snickers and makes a snide comment about the wheels spinning in Takaki's head. Keito calmly sips his chocolate shake.

~

“Oh dude!” Yuto bounces excitedly up to the group in the restaurant. “This place is called Johnny — um — R-Ro- Roke — Well, it’s _Johnny_ , like, you know, Johnny-san!”

“Chocolate shake?” Keito offers.

~

"Oh my God!" cries Hikaru, slamming open the bathroom door in their shared hotel room. "We can get married by THE KING here!"

Yabu, in the middle of putting on his shirt, jumps in surprise. Unable to see with his shirt still over his head, he loses his balance and smacks his funny bone against the shower door in his attempt to remain upright. " _Ow_ , that hurt Hikaru!"

Hikaru doesn't seem to notice. He clutches an iPad tightly in one hand, gesticulating wildly with it to emphasize his points as he holds forth on the advantages of an Elvis wedding. “Many brides and grooms consider Las Vegas to be the wedding capital of the world you know! And of course everyone knows that Elvis is The King! Las Vegas wedding chapels have expanded to meet the demand for the phenomenally popular Elvis weddings! Best of all, your family and friends who can’t be here in Las Vegas to witness your special day will now be able to watch — ”

“What are you talking about?” Yabu interrupts, finally having won the struggle with his t-shirt. “Give me that!” He snatches the tablet from Hikaru’s grasp and looks at the garish website Hikaru has pulled up. “Do you even know what you’re saying, you idiot? You’re just reading from the website!”

“Let’s get married, Kota!”

“Hikaru…”

“Dude, we can get married by _Elvis_! The King! Oh my God this is the best idea ever!”

At this point, Yabu gives in. Clearly he should have had more to drink earlier, hangover at work tomorrow be damned. Now, he’s just trying his best to find some way to reason with Hikaru. “Can you at least let me finish putting on my pants?” He gestures to the pajama bottoms he’s only half stepped into.

“Pants! Who needs pants!” And to Yabu’s horror, Hikaru leans down and tugs Yabu’s pants off again. “Elvis doesn’t care about _pants_!”

~

In the middle of the night, Inoo is woken up by his hotel room phone ringing. He side-eyes it groggily, then shrugs to himself and picks it up.

"Haro?"

"Inoo-chan!" Yabu's voice conveys perfectly the image of his distressed frown, "Help! Please let me sleep in your room tonight!"

Inoo agrees, mostly because he's curious, then barely has time to hang up the phone before Yabu is knocking on his door.

"So what's up with Hikaru?" asks Inoo. He stares pointedly at Yabu's underwear-only state, but refrains from asking the obvious question.

Instead of replying, Yabu demands, "Why didn't I get drunk tonight too?!"

~

Yamada is asleep by the time Chinen comes back to their shared hotel room. He's woken up by Chinen turning on the room lights, and blinks owlishly at the younger boy.

"Where y'been?" he asks in a sleep-fogged voice. A glance at the clock tells him it's almost 3 am.

"Oh, just downstairs," Chinen grins, all trace of bad humor from earlier in the night gone. "Sorry for waking you. Goodnight, Yama-chan!"

He quickly turns off the light again, but Yamada, whose eyes are still more adjusted to darkness than light, sees Chinen empty an enormous pile of coins from his pockets onto the nightstand between their beds.

~

When Yamada wakes up in the morning, the pile of coins is gone. So is Chinen. The sunlight coming through the curtains is bright and warm, though, and Yamada doesn't need to look at the clock to realize he's overslept. He rushes through his morning ablutions, stuffs all his possessions into his suitcase willy-nilly, and hurries down to the lobby where the rest of his group is congregated.

Half of his band members look tousled and still half-asleep; Hikaru looks nauseated and in pain, leaning heavily against a pillar.

"What happened to _him_?" Yamada asks. "Where _were_ all of you last night?"

"Where were _you_?" Daiki returns. " _We_ were enjoying Vegas."

"I was working!" Yamada wails. "You guys always have all the fun while I work! No fair!"

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. [How Asians take pictures.](http://www.instant-ramen.net/2009/05/how-asians-take-pictures/)  
> 2\. Yes, I realize their ages are a little bit off, what with needing to be 21 to legally drink in the U.S. :The Elvis Wedding Chapel!  
> 4\. Yamada always working is an oblique reference to the end of the Making of OVER PV, where Yamada's all "I! had fun today! even though! everybody else left me! :(" awwjlakg ♥  
> 5\. Oh yes, and of course this all came about because of [this rumor(?) of JUMP going to Las Vegas](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nKKdefOZw9E/TnsaFLFYPWI/AAAAAAAAAW0/SltuUf_lSWs/s400/62409580gw1dle0588ttoj.jpg).


End file.
